Love Is a Verb: Why True Love Requires Action and Commitment

We often think of love as a noun—something you have or feel. Movies, songs, and fairy tales paint it as a magical force that happens to us, requiring little more than being in the right place at the right time. But in reality, love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a verb. It’s something you do, nurture, and invest in every single day. Real love requires action and commitment, not just warm fuzzy emotions. So, how do we shift our perspective and bring this concept into our relationships? Let’s dive in.

What Does It Mean That Love Is a Verb?

When we say love is a verb, we mean it’s not passive. It’s not something you simply “fall into” or “have.” It’s an active process of choosing your partner, showing up for them, and cultivating the connection between you. Love as a verb is about:

• Listening actively, even when it’s hard.

• Expressing appreciation, even for the small things.

• Resolving conflicts respectfully, even when emotions run high.

• Putting in effort, even when you’re busy or tired.

  
  

Feelings of love may ebb and flow, but choosing to act with love is what keeps the relationship alive.

Examples of Love as a Verb

• Scenario 1: You’ve had a long, exhausting day at work. You come home to find your partner also tired and irritable. Instead of retreating into your own stress, you choose to ask how their day was and offer a small gesture, like making tea or giving a hug.

• Scenario 2: Your partner forgot an important date. Instead of reacting with resentment, you calmly express how it made you feel and work together to strengthen communication moving forward.

• Scenario 3: Life gets hectic, and quality time has taken a back seat. Instead of waiting for things to improve on their own, you take the initiative to plan a date night, reigniting the connection.

  
  

The Role of Commitment

Commitment is the backbone of love as a verb. It’s easy to act lovingly when things are going well, but true commitment shines through when times are tough. It means choosing your partner in moments of disagreement, stress, or distance. It’s about prioritizing the relationship and believing in its worth, even when the spark isn’t as bright as it once was.

How to Practice Love as a Verb

1. Show Up Daily

   Ask yourself: What can I do today to make my partner feel loved and appreciated? It could be as simple as sending a thoughtful text, cooking their favorite meal, or giving them a genuine compliment.

2. Communicate Openly

   Talk about your needs, fears, and goals. Loving actions often begin with understanding your partner on a deeper level.

3. Be Present

   Put down the phone, turn off the TV, and give your full attention to your partner. Presence is one of the greatest acts of love.

4. Handle Conflict Constructively

   Instead of seeing arguments as a battle to win, approach them as opportunities to grow together. Apologize when necessary, and prioritize resolution over being “right.”

5. Celebrate Your Partner

   Don’t wait for birthdays or anniversaries to celebrate them. Acknowledge their achievements, express gratitude, and remind them of how much they mean to you regularly.

   
   

Love isn’t something you find or possess; it’s something you do. By treating love as a verb, you take responsibility for nurturing your relationship, deepening your connection, and creating a bond that can weather life’s challenges.